The Scene In Which We Learn To Drive

We interrupt these vacation blog postings for an important service announcement.

To all drivers of bluish-green, dented-bumpered, rusted-out pickup trucks out and about in Indianapolis today, we'd like to bring your attention to the following suggestions for better road etiquette:

When driving down a neighborhood side street, it is considered impolite to drive 45 miles per hour.

When driving 45 mph down a narrow neighborhood side street, it is considered impolite to arbitrarily decide that the street is a one-way street, regardless of however narrow you personally feel the street becomes due to the row of parked cars along one side.

When driving 45 mph down a narrow neighborhood side street that you have arbitrarily decided is a one-way at the moment, it is considered impolite to take up the entire rest of the street with your vehicle by weaving back and forth.

When driving 45 mph down a narrow neighborhood side street that you have arbitrarily decided is a one-way at the moment and thus should be driven on in a weaving fashion, it is considered impolite to honk ferociously at other cars coming the opposite way.

When driving 45 mph down a narrow neighborhood side street that you have arbitrarily decided is a one-way at the moment and thus should be driven on in a weaving fashion while honking ferociously at cars coming the opposite way, it is considered impolite to give said other drivers the finger.

This concludes our public service announcement for today.