Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The Scene In Which It's All In A Name

I've been thinking a lot about names lately, namely (har har) because I'm about to add one to mine- I'm taking Cute Boy's last name in just a few short months!

After much consideration, and given the fact that his last name manages to pack two W's, to O's, a J, and a CZ-sounds like-CH combo over three syllables whereas mine now is FOUR LETTERS, pronounced EXACTLY LIKE THEY LOOK, and given that it makes my entire name a total of four syllables.....well, let's just say I'll be retaining my maiden name for business purposes. I'm planning to hyphenate my last name legally.

But I really wanted to take on Cute Boy's last name, because I personally think it's important for a family to have a family name, and because one day I want to have the same name as my children.

Another reason I'm planning to hyphenate is that here in the great state of Indiana, you can't have two last names without one, and you can't have more than three names, and I didn't want to give up my middle name, which is Laine.

Which is apparently, as I learned today, A COMPLETELY CRAZY NAME. Unlike one, say, with multiple W's and O's, and J's and T's and Z's. Say that threetimesfast.

Now, I've had a lot of people tell me my middle name is unusual, but I've never really had anyone insist that it was wrong and then try to PROVE that to me...until today. I had to give the Victoria's Secret checkout girl my license so that I could return a bra (purchased as a possible wedding-day need but my awesome tailor didn't require it), and apparently, you also need an Act of God to return something to there, because this girl critiqued my entire license. Which led to.......

cashier: Oh look, they like, spelled Lane wrong on your license.
me: Nope, haha, that's how I spell my name.
cashier: No, no, like the street part, that's ok, but like, here in your name? That's wrong.
me: Nope, that's really how I spell my name.
cashier: oh. With an I? Like, not the street?
me: Yep!

me in my head: um, it's getting weird. It's my name. Just return this thing and sell me this other overpriced bra, mmmmk?


cashier: Really?
me: Yes, I promise, really.
other salesgirl starts to stare at this point. Either she thinks I'm a crazy name misspeller (hah- funny- spellcheck dings that word) and possibly a psychotic killer as a result or she's mentally trying to tell her coworker: LET IT GO .


cashier: apparently receives mental message Oh.

It's days like these, along with the times I watch/listen to my fiance spell his name for people after saying it and watch their brows furrow as they try to reconcile the letters they are hearing with the word they just heard that I'm really, really grateful that the first 29 years of my life were spent with such an easy name.

But I'm still really looking forward to having the hard one to add :)


  1. I can identify a little bit--we always have to say "Kelley-with-an-E-Y." And Laine is the normal spelling in my book. I have a cousin Layne, and Lane is the man's spelling, right?

    Matt just directed me to your blog to read your wedding post above. Congrats!

  2. Thanks Jessica! I've always enjoyed your blog, hope to one day meet you in real life.

    Laine is totally how I *normally* spell it, though I've known both girls and boys who spell it Lane. Layne is absolutely gorgeous, I'm a little in love with that now!!